Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stetz-Waters

Satisfaction Guaranteed
Published: 6/1/21

This is my first Karelia Stetz-Waters book and it won’t be my last. Satisfaction Guaranteed is absolutely hilarious and brings to mind the books of Robin Alexander. I hadn’t thought about naming my clitoris before and now I am. I think Princess Buttercup may be the winner!

Cade Elgin is as uptight as it gets and when she arrives at her aunt’s funeral to see everyone wearing gold lame and passing around flasks of whiskey she is properly horrified. But she’s the only one who takes issues with the shenanigans. Everyone else seems to be hopped up on edibles and enjoying the organ performance of “Uptown Funk”.

Ruth was like a mother to Selena Mathis so when her friends pressure her to give a speech at the funeral she can’t refuse. When Selena is nervous she tends to ramble and ramble. She reveals Ruth’s name for her clitoris, Belinda, Ruth’s feelings on teacups and tampons versus the cup. She keeps looking at Cade because on the worst day of her life, she can still appreciate a little eye candy.

Cade is ready to return home to her families art gallery that she pretty much runs on her own because her parents are too busy planning to buy a alpaca and getting high. Cade is 29 and has never had an orgasm. Seems like the perfect person to run a sex shop!  Her aunt Ruth leaves her store, Satisfaction Guaranteed to Cade and Selena to run together. Ruth isn’t a big fan of paying bills so the store is in serious trouble.

Despite her reservations Cade agrees to stay for a month and try to save the sex shop for her aunt and for this strange creature Selena. Selena intrigues Cade. She is beautiful, sweet and completely ok with working at a store that sells dildos, cookware and Christmas stuff. As they work together to try to save the store, they learn more about each other and their attraction grows. However, Selena is celibate and Cade is an orgasm virgin.

I adore Selena and Cade. Selena has an interesting backstory involving her ex and Cade sees the evil that woman is working with and has no problem pretending to be Selena’s fiance. Cade needs Selena to help her loosen up and Selena needs Cade to fight for her and help her see that she has value.

If you are looking for a low angst, laugh out loud funny book, I highly recommend. Instead of adding my favorite quotes, I implore you to just read the beginning of the book and enjoy the funeral. Not something I think I’ve ever said before, but this is what I hope my funeral will someday be. People talking about clits, getting high and rocking out to Bruno Mars!

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